The Universal Truths of Men
I try and keep up with both women and men’s articles on love, relationships and the opposite sex. Today I stumbled on an article in Men’s Health entitled 50 Things Men Wish Women Knew. I thought this was silly to have this article in a men’s magazine considering most women would never pick up Men’s Health. So I picked out a few l liked and narrowed the list down to my top 25 favorites. I will not add my two cents to this one because I do not claim to know anything about what makes the male brain tick.
1) Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you’re wrong.
2) If you’re truly interested in us, don’t play hard to get.
3) I’m hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
3) My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.
4) Don’t be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
5) You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.
6) I don’t ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
7) We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn’t always have to lead to sex. (But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?)
8) I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren’t looking for the truth anyway.
9) When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
10) You’re really bad at faking it.
11) If I offer my help while you’re getting ready, it means you’re late. And never ask me to pick out your outfit. I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
12) When you call us at work “just to chat,” we’re not really listening; we’re checking our e-mail.
13) Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.
14) We love ponytails.
15) Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.
16) Make us laugh and we’ll want to hang around.
17) Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman’s problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? That’s hot!
18) Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words “naked” and “waiting.
19) Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.
20) Anytime you cook for us, we’re happy.
21) We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
22) And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
23) Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.
24) We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, “Do you think she’s pretty?
25) Never say, “I know you better than you know yourself.” Nobody does.
So what do you think? Are these really truths? I would like to think so!